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Gavin HamnettMS, LMHC
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How one phone call can undo your week

Individual therapy for adults in New York caught in old family roles, arguments, and expectations.

Request a free consultation
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Who This Is For

You can run a team, raise children, and handle a crisis at work. Then your mother says one thing in a certain tone, and you are fourteen again, either shouting or swallowing it. Family has a way of reaching past everything you have built.

I work with adults in conflict with parents, siblings, or adult children, and with the strain that comes when a parent needs care. I see individuals only, so the work is about your side of things: what happens in you, and what you want to do differently.

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Where It Shows Up

  • The old role

    The peacemaker, the responsible one, or the black sheep, slipping back on the minute you walk in the door.

  • Sibling tension

    Old rivalries that resurface over a parent's care, money, or who did more.

  • Distance and guilt

    Wanting more space from family and feeling terrible every time you take it.

  • Visits that drain you

    Needing days to recover after a holiday or a weekend back home.

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How I Work With Family Conflict

We start with what happens in your body when the conflict starts. In Hakomi, we slow that moment way down. Maybe your stomach drops when a sibling's name lights up your phone, or your jaw sets before your father finishes a sentence. Those reactions are old and quick, so we give them time and attention.

Psychodynamic work helps us trace where your role in the family came from and what it protected you from back then. Once you can feel the pull of the old role starting, you have a choice. You might still go to the family dinner. You just don't have to disappear while you are there.

More about my approach
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What Sessions Look Like

  1. Talk it through first

    A free 20 minute phone consultation, to tell me what is going on and see whether we fit.

  2. Your own hour

    55 minute individual sessions, weekly or every two weeks, in Rhinebeck, Hudson, or by telehealth in New York.

  3. Before and after

    We can look at a visit or a hard call just before it happens, and again once it is over.

What Can Shift

Family conflict rarely ends because one person finally wins the argument. What I hope for is quieter than that: being able to stay yourself around the people who knew you first, and to love them, or keep your distance, from a steadier place.

Rates in Brief

Sessions are $160 for 55 minutes. The first step is a complimentary 20 minute phone consultation.

Rates
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Questions People Ask

Can a family member come to a session?

My practice is individual therapy for adults, so sessions are just you and me. You can bring what happens with them into the room.

What if I have decided to cut contact?

That is something we can look at together, without me pushing you either way.

Is this only about parents?

No. Siblings, adult children, in-laws, and extended family all count.

What if I think the conflict is my fault?

Then we look at your part with curiosity instead of blame. There is usually more to the story than fault.

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Start With a Free Consultation

Send me a short message and I'll set up a free 20 minute phone call.

Request a free consultation (845) 532-8336