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Why does it still hurt this much?

Therapy for adults in New York whose grief has stayed heavy long after others expected it to lift.

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Who This Is For

There is no deadline for grief, whatever anyone says. Still, when a loss feels as heavy years later as it did in the first months, something may be keeping it stuck. Often the grief never had room. You went back to work, took care of everyone else, or held it together for the kids, and the feelings waited.

Sometimes the loss stirred up older ones. Sometimes there is guilt, anger, or unfinished business that is hard to say out loud. And sometimes grief slides into something closer to depression. None of this means you are grieving wrong. It usually means part of you is still waiting to be heard.

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When Grief Gets Stuck

Frozen in place
Rooms you can't go into, belongings you can't move, dates you dread all year.
Feeling nothing
Expecting tears and finding only numbness, and wondering what that says about you.
Guilt and what ifs
Replaying the last conversation, the missed sign, the thing you wish you had said.
Grief in the body
Tiredness, a tight throat, or aches that started around the time of the loss.

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How I Work With Lingering Grief

Grief that has been held back usually needs steady company more than advice. In our sessions, we give it time. With Hakomi and somatic work, we notice where the grief sits in your body and let it move at a pace you can manage, a little at a time rather than all at once.

Psychodynamic work helps when a recent loss is tangled up with earlier ones, or with a complicated relationship to the person or the life you lost. There is room for the love and the anger, the relief and the sadness, without having to tidy any of it.

More about my approach

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What Sessions Look Like

An unhurried phone call
A free 20 minute phone consultation. Share as little or as much as you like.
Time set aside
55 minute sessions, weekly or every two weeks, in Rhinebeck, Hudson, or by telehealth in New York.
Hard dates
We can prepare for anniversaries and holidays together, and talk them through afterward.

What Can Shift

The goal isn't to forget, or to stop missing what you lost. What I hope for is that the grief softens into something you carry, rather than something that carries you, and that there is room again for your own life alongside it.